Healing Relationships Using MEM: Part 1 of 3
Civilisation revolves around relationships. They are the very woof and warp of life – the very fabric of life. Relationships are the driving force of survival, whether it is the physical connection between a male and a female in the creation of progeny (survival of the species); the connection between a manager and a staff member; the connection between a player and a team captain, or a player and another member of a team. No matter how wide and how far you extrapolate the concept of relationships, they are involved in every facet of life.
Some relationships are stormy and some placid, but no matter what the connection, one’s survival is very dependent upon them. In the case of Charles Dickens’ Ebenezer Scrooge, the only relationship this miserly, self-centred individual enjoyed and considered of value was a connection with money. However, in creating wealth and possessing money he nevertheless had to relate to others. He had, for example, a relationship with his clerk, even though he looked upon that downtrodden individual as a possession. Indeed, no man is an island! A truly happy relationship involves respect for the other or for the other’s viewpoints and a free exchange of views.
The writer of the following was a product of an abusive family environment, but a relationship repair action completely rehabilitated her life.
In October 2002 I was given back my life. After 12 years of ongoing emotional upheaval through events that ran like a bad soap opera, I had lost my health, my home, my job and people that were precious to me, but most of all I had lost myself. I feel that most of this was created from all the baggage I carried around from an abused childhood. As a family friend once said, ‘You kids weren’t brought up, you were dragged up.’
By 2002 I was ready to give up, there seemed no reason to carry on this life that had become a confusion of emotional pain, loss and depression. I had forgotten how to laugh or enjoy the wonderful and simple pleasures I had previously known. A dear friend suggested I see John Mace. I’d tried all the usual counselling and anti-depressants with only temporary relief, so I was sceptical, but I went and my life began its turn-around. After a few sessions I was feeling more positive about myself but something still nagged at me. John in his wisdom suggested I carry out a relationship procedure to do with a person (in this case my father) who had had such a negative influence on me. That session was the key. Once those negative beliefs, feelings and emotions were negated I began to live again.
I no longer reacted badly to triggering events; the raw emotions and overwhelming tears just weren’t there. It was a joy to wake in the early hours of the morning and revel in the peace I felt and knowing that at last I had been given a tool so simple yet so powerful that I could access in the event I needed it. What a marvellous sense of freedom and empowerment! I have since done several relationship sessions and marvel at the results. I feel like I’ve been wearing extremely dirty, cracked glasses for so long and have been given a new pair to view life in a positive, healthy way. My thanks seem inadequate but nevertheless, I thank you.
JD, Perth WA
Although interpersonal relationships are the predominant feature in life, it has to be understood that people also relate to groups, organisations and ‘things’, and it is how the client feels about any of them that has to be addressed, for these feelings govern the relationship.
Copyright © John Mace. 27 July 2015 / All Rights Reserved
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